:: Play Truth or Dare ::

I feel so consistantly out of control.

At my day job, my night job, my eating habits, my sleeping patterns, my friendships, my dating life, my appearance in general, and the 100 other things I have to remember to do on a daily basis.

So out of control.

But I'm one of those crazy people who would need to live in an IKEA showroom to feel ok about life. Everything should be in a labeled box and I should have a great big schedule on the wall with everything organized and perfect.

I feel like if I could just schedule better, I'd get more things done, but in truth, I just need more hours in the day. Or ideally, another day in the week. We'll call it procastinationday. Not because we'll procrastinate on that day, but because we'll get to all those things we've already put on the backburner all week. A day to do it all.

I mean that wouldn't help me as far as getting to the gym 3 times a week. Or maybe I could just work out for like 6 hours on procrastinationday. I don't think it works like that though...

I don't know...

A lot of the time I think, Wow, If I only had some time alone, I'd recollect and be ok.

And sometimes that works... and a lot of times it doesn't. And I just feel crazier.

I feel guilty every time I consume calories in food or drink form, healthy or unhealthy, no matter how much or how little. I go so crazy. I can't just keep it under control because I don't go into it controlled. Oh well, what can you do...

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